Considering my last two blog titles have been in the form of questions I guess you could say I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately. I tend to be a ‘question asker’ by nature. It helps me learn and process. If you’ve ever met me you can probably confirm that I like to ask questions. Hopefully it’s a good thing more than it is an annoying thing.
I’ve been in a season lately in which I feel a little extra vulnerable. A little more broken than usual. I mean we’re all broken right? But some days the ‘broken meter’ seems to be higher than others. And when the broken meter is high, I struggle with this question… How vulnerable should I be? How much should I share? How much CAN I share without turning into a complainer?
Here’s one conclusion I’ve come to recently… I don’t think we (as Christians) do a very good job at allowing each other to be vulnerable. Why? Because we don’t ask. We don’t dig. We only ask the easy questions. We just assume that everything is all good. At least sometimes I do. Can you relate?
When was the last time you asked a friend how their weight loss journey was going?
When was the last time you asked a friend how their marriage was going?
When was the last time you asked a friend in a dating relationship how they were handling the “physical stuff”?
When was the last time you asked a friend what they’re passionate about? What keeps them up at night?
When was the last time you asked a friend who just adopted how they were feeling?
I know these are hard questions to ask (and maybe even to answer) but if we want the people in our lives to be vulnerable with us, and us with them, then we have to ASK. And if you find the courage to ask, brace yourself. Because the friend who you thought had a perfect marriage, probably doesn’t. And the family you thought had it all together, well, they’re probably a mess. And the friend who struggles with food addiction, well she’s probably just waiting for someone to believe she can do it.
In my life I’ve only had a small handful of friends who’ve asked me the hard questions. Two of them are Greg and Caroline TeSelle. I’m thankful that they didn’t choose comfort over conviction. And I’m a better person today because of it.
May we be the kind of friends who ask the hard questions not because we’re nosey but because we care.